Post by Someguy on Sept 1, 2010 10:00:37 GMT
You are woken early by the not-so-subtle pokings of a pitchfork through the hay by the man who owns the farm. You all get up lethargically, having had little sleep before dawn, which is when work starts on the farm. You get up and assemble outside, following the farmer who intends to set you to chores.
"First of all, welcome to Salisbury Farm," he says, not sounding tired at all. "For staying in my barn for the night, I'm expecting some good honest work from you strangers. Even you," he says, giving Blanka a wry look. "So don't worry about feeling tired; in just a minute you'll be too busy to notice it. Now let me show you what you're gonna be doing."
You follow him around the farm. Vinny is left in the cow pens, charged with morning milking. Fire Bear is left in the chicken coops, to feed the poultry, while Blanka is taken by the farmer's wife up into the hills to round up the sheep. Left over are Pete and Starlong, both of whom look distinctly unhappy.
"I'm one of the top adventurer's in the world, dammit..."
"Damn ship and it's damn low-cut railings on the sides..."
Oblivious, Farmer Coates shields his eyes against the rising dawn and looks out over the fields, which have as yet been only half-furrowed. He sighs and wishes he had more permanent help and another tractor before looking over his shoulder and saying:
"Alright. The guy with the funny hat can help Tsunami take the tractor out to the field. The other'll come with me and we'll grab a couple of hoes to weed out the vegetable pens."
It says a lot about Pete and Starlong that, when Farmer Coates moves away, both men follow him.They then realise what they are insuating about the other's hat by doing this.
"I think he was talking to you, Pete," says Starlong reasonably.
"I'm sorry," says Pete wryly, a smile spreading across his face. "But for you to suggest that my hat looks silly is ridiculous; It's perfectly normal, of course, to have chunks of flak digging into your scalp."
"They have a practical use, which is the opposite of 'silly'. And anyway, who wears a captain's hat when he is, and I feel a need to point this out, 'between ships and a crew'?" reasons Starlong. "That sounds kinda silly to me, dude."
"I'm not between anything (HAHAHA)," replies Pete, still smiling. "My crew are still out there looking for me."
"Missing their idiot, are they?"
"Shut yer goddamn whore mouth. That's no way to speak to a hero, dammit!"
"And beating your allies to a pulp then shooting them is a fine way to go about that."
"You're the one who jumped down an elevator shaft!"
"You're the one who got mauled by a radioactive scorpion! In fact, that reminds me!" shouts Starlong, getting into the swing of things. "If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have ended up in the middle of the damn swamp in the first place! You and your imaginary junction that didn't exist!"
"That wasn't my fault," says Pete, getting riled. "I said let's go to the tower but YOU said we should avoid the tower, and we ended up heading to the centre of the swamp; and I didn't hear you objecting when we decided to have a look in that big building!"
"Yeah, but you smell."
"No, you smell!"
A large bellowing grunt stops the bickering, followed by a heavy sound like suspension being tested. It came from the barn behind you, where the tractor is presumably stored.
"What was-"
The doors burst open, and from some unknown source a heavy metal theme song begins to play. A man clad in blue spandex with a Tsunami print design emerges from the barn, carrying a red tractor over his shoulder with one arm. A tattoo rides up this arm, depicting a massive tidal wave destroying a city. His face is covered by a luchador's mask but has left the top of his head uncovered, allowing a sprawl of blue-tinted dreadlocks to hang rakishly. He strides past the two of you with the tractor, and you have to duck as he passes to not be brained by the wheels.
"Huh," says one of you, as the wrestler farmer makes his way out into the fields. "You don't see that everyday."
Farmer Coates, who has been looking a little dumbfounded since you mentioned the wilder parts of your journey through the Thames Swamps, quizzes you about what you just said and your journey. You tell him how you ended up in the centre of the swamp and killed the monster living there. His reaction is something you big damn heroes should get used to from now on! He-
Laughs in your face.
"Very funny!" he says, chuckling. "I hear tall tales from people about that place all the time, about how they went to the centre of the Thames swamp and killed the Kraken there, or treatied with the King of the Swamp People and such like. But that's enough bickering, y'hear? There's work to be done. And just to save yer delicate feelings, I'm gonna change, or maybe not change, my mind about who I'm taking with me to the vegetable lots; that way, ye'll never know who's got a silly hat or not. Though if we're being honest, they're both pretty retarded."
"Uh. Thanks?"
"Now let's go! You, the adventurer fellow, you go up and help Tsunami while your friend there helps me with the hoe-ing."
So, you've been put to your chores. Do a good job, and there might be a reward in it for you! GET TO WORK.
[Milk the Cows!]
Vinny
SM: 1
[Feed the Chickens!]
Fire Bear
SM: 1 (+6)
[Weed out the vegetable patch!]
Pete (+1)
SM: 1 (+2)
[Help furrow the fields!]
Starlong
SM: 1
[Round up the sheep!]
Blanka
SM: 1
"First of all, welcome to Salisbury Farm," he says, not sounding tired at all. "For staying in my barn for the night, I'm expecting some good honest work from you strangers. Even you," he says, giving Blanka a wry look. "So don't worry about feeling tired; in just a minute you'll be too busy to notice it. Now let me show you what you're gonna be doing."
You follow him around the farm. Vinny is left in the cow pens, charged with morning milking. Fire Bear is left in the chicken coops, to feed the poultry, while Blanka is taken by the farmer's wife up into the hills to round up the sheep. Left over are Pete and Starlong, both of whom look distinctly unhappy.
"I'm one of the top adventurer's in the world, dammit..."
"Damn ship and it's damn low-cut railings on the sides..."
Oblivious, Farmer Coates shields his eyes against the rising dawn and looks out over the fields, which have as yet been only half-furrowed. He sighs and wishes he had more permanent help and another tractor before looking over his shoulder and saying:
"Alright. The guy with the funny hat can help Tsunami take the tractor out to the field. The other'll come with me and we'll grab a couple of hoes to weed out the vegetable pens."
It says a lot about Pete and Starlong that, when Farmer Coates moves away, both men follow him.They then realise what they are insuating about the other's hat by doing this.
"I think he was talking to you, Pete," says Starlong reasonably.
"I'm sorry," says Pete wryly, a smile spreading across his face. "But for you to suggest that my hat looks silly is ridiculous; It's perfectly normal, of course, to have chunks of flak digging into your scalp."
"They have a practical use, which is the opposite of 'silly'. And anyway, who wears a captain's hat when he is, and I feel a need to point this out, 'between ships and a crew'?" reasons Starlong. "That sounds kinda silly to me, dude."
"I'm not between anything (HAHAHA)," replies Pete, still smiling. "My crew are still out there looking for me."
"Missing their idiot, are they?"
"Shut yer goddamn whore mouth. That's no way to speak to a hero, dammit!"
"And beating your allies to a pulp then shooting them is a fine way to go about that."
"You're the one who jumped down an elevator shaft!"
"You're the one who got mauled by a radioactive scorpion! In fact, that reminds me!" shouts Starlong, getting into the swing of things. "If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have ended up in the middle of the damn swamp in the first place! You and your imaginary junction that didn't exist!"
"That wasn't my fault," says Pete, getting riled. "I said let's go to the tower but YOU said we should avoid the tower, and we ended up heading to the centre of the swamp; and I didn't hear you objecting when we decided to have a look in that big building!"
"Yeah, but you smell."
"No, you smell!"
A large bellowing grunt stops the bickering, followed by a heavy sound like suspension being tested. It came from the barn behind you, where the tractor is presumably stored.
"What was-"
The doors burst open, and from some unknown source a heavy metal theme song begins to play. A man clad in blue spandex with a Tsunami print design emerges from the barn, carrying a red tractor over his shoulder with one arm. A tattoo rides up this arm, depicting a massive tidal wave destroying a city. His face is covered by a luchador's mask but has left the top of his head uncovered, allowing a sprawl of blue-tinted dreadlocks to hang rakishly. He strides past the two of you with the tractor, and you have to duck as he passes to not be brained by the wheels.
"Huh," says one of you, as the wrestler farmer makes his way out into the fields. "You don't see that everyday."
Farmer Coates, who has been looking a little dumbfounded since you mentioned the wilder parts of your journey through the Thames Swamps, quizzes you about what you just said and your journey. You tell him how you ended up in the centre of the swamp and killed the monster living there. His reaction is something you big damn heroes should get used to from now on! He-
Laughs in your face.
"Very funny!" he says, chuckling. "I hear tall tales from people about that place all the time, about how they went to the centre of the Thames swamp and killed the Kraken there, or treatied with the King of the Swamp People and such like. But that's enough bickering, y'hear? There's work to be done. And just to save yer delicate feelings, I'm gonna change, or maybe not change, my mind about who I'm taking with me to the vegetable lots; that way, ye'll never know who's got a silly hat or not. Though if we're being honest, they're both pretty retarded."
"Uh. Thanks?"
"Now let's go! You, the adventurer fellow, you go up and help Tsunami while your friend there helps me with the hoe-ing."
So, you've been put to your chores. Do a good job, and there might be a reward in it for you! GET TO WORK.
[Milk the Cows!]
Vinny
SM: 1
[Feed the Chickens!]
Fire Bear
SM: 1 (+6)
[Weed out the vegetable patch!]
Pete (+1)
SM: 1 (+2)
[Help furrow the fields!]
Starlong
SM: 1
[Round up the sheep!]
Blanka
SM: 1