mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on Dec 25, 2008 0:40:17 GMT
Oh fuck wait. That may be too wrong. I can't say that I want to bite the Twilight actress and suck her dry AND molest my five year old self. Not in one day at least.
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Post by Someguy on Dec 26, 2008 19:51:17 GMT
Dearest Joe; Where's your stamina? (coughing it's last on a mountain of fags, I imagine.)
And of course I shall leave a time capsule with a map inside that I can't remember about until I am older. How else will I be able to travel back in time and bury the map for myself in the first place?
(...?)
DAMN! ETERNAL LOOP! NO MAP FOR ME!
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mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on Dec 27, 2008 23:23:27 GMT
I'm like a goddamn Duracell bunny.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Post by Starlong on Dec 28, 2008 17:44:35 GMT
Duracell batteries DIE just like any other batteries! It may take longer, they may be powerful, not they are NOT immortal my friend, which is why you always need to carry a spare pack with you. I mean, how else could you power your lightsabre?
Arguably, by going back in time with a map or any information will create an alternate timeline, and the origional timeline will be left unscathed, unless you set off a bomb before you left. If you *DID* create an alternate timeline *AND* had a two way doorway/portal/timehole between the alternate past and the real future, then you could nip into the past, give your past self sufficiently advanced technology to take over the world, and nip back through the portal to see that it hasn't affected the future. THIS future!! In an alternate timeline you just caused the deaths of Billions!!! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! *cries*
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Post by Fire Bear on Dec 28, 2008 20:29:43 GMT
I'm sorry, but WHAT THE HELL?!?
Have you never seen Back to the Future? EVERYTHING is affected! You can't have an original time line left unscathed while you have an alternate timeline... Oh, no, wait. That means the Dolorian couldn't have got back to the Doc and Marty in the future! Plot hole! Plot hole!
Anyway, I never told you to put the map inside the time capsule. I was thinking of the classic loose-floorboard-under-the-bed scenario which your parents haven't discovered but you have...Which, now I think about it, doesn't make sense either, so all those films and books with that in it don't make sense, either. (How could the kid find it? What's he doing under the bed?)
Wait, I just understood what Tom's saying! And it might just work!
Three revelations in one day!? I need a lie down...
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Post by Someguy on Dec 28, 2008 22:03:52 GMT
No it won't! And you know why it won't work?! Because you forgot to say 'It's a one in a million chance...'. That's logic, that is.
(What have you fucking done to me, Pratchett? Your writing has brain-washed me.)
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mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on Dec 29, 2008 3:20:25 GMT
"Scientists have concluded that one in a million chances will actually succeed nine times out of ten."
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Post by McBain on Dec 30, 2008 21:40:04 GMT
So are you all coming to your senses and listening to what I was saying all along? You can't go messing about with history. It's fixed, it's solid, it's determined. The only way you could get away with it would be if you were responsible for the histroical event you are messing with. (See that episode of Doctor Who with Vesuvius) Listen to me now or be forever doomed to destroy the universe, you have been warned!
P.S. That means you can feel free to moleste your five year old self, Joe. It's probably the reason you're as warped as you are.
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Post by Someguy on Dec 31, 2008 15:00:18 GMT
And I will also feel free to molest Joe's five-year old self. I bet he sqauwks like a pigeon.
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mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on Jan 2, 2009 20:16:09 GMT
The sexiest pigeon you'll ever hear squawk.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Post by Starlong on Jan 3, 2009 2:38:27 GMT
Concerning Back to the Future, it ranks in the highest order of films I adore to the point that I'd take a bullet for them with a smile on my face as I remember the joy they give me each time I watch them... However, the time travel mechanics are sketchy, very sketchy, the whole paradox issue is fun to play with but if you look at something like that seriously, then you're head will explode trying to rationalise it all. This is why time travel should be avoided at all costs in story writing, it's too complicated and the many variations of timeline mechanics means its a lot of work to keep the story making sense. I mean, you have three main options for time travel stories, and as a case study I shall examine: There is only one timeline! Ever!If you go back in time and mess shit up, that was always part of the timeline, and you were destined to go back in time to do it, and if what you did back then influenced you time traveling in the first place, we get what is affectionately called the "Stable time loop" An example of this, Joe was molested when he was five by a rugged but handsome stranger and this has affected him mentally throughout his life, giving him urges that should not be spoke on the internet. When he is told he has the chance to go back in time he accepts because he plans to molest himself when he is five, which he does (Not all stories are happy and clean). Then he realises that HE is the handsome rugged stranger! I don't know what happens next actually... New serial anyone?? The problem with this senario is that something must have started this stable loop, because it can't fesibly start itself... ^^^That is why I hate trying to write about time travel^^^ Erm... isn't this thread supposed to be about boooze or something?
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Post by McBain on Jan 3, 2009 21:47:46 GMT
Yeah, then we cracked out the Absinthe and got onto the nut-busting topic of time travel.
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Post by Fire Bear on Jan 3, 2009 22:39:28 GMT
Also from Doctor Who:
You could create a paradox machine that means, say, that humans from the future can come back in time and massacre their ancestors without dying themselves.
From Futurama: Bender's Big Score:
They have that weird paradox thing... but if there are two of you, the past one will die... or something.
On the topic of "booooze":
I tried Irn Brew WKD. Hate it. My wee sister likes it, which is odd since she doesn't like Irn Bru in the first place...
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mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on Jan 4, 2009 1:43:47 GMT
Did you let your little, and therefore underage, sister have an alcoholic drink? That's a big no no in the writers society.
Shun her at once!
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Post by Someguy on Jan 4, 2009 2:19:48 GMT
Time to bring Intellectual Stewart to the fray, with his mighty Juggernaut wisdom.
*Knuckle Cracking*
There are two theories on Time. One is that it is a dimension, and as such matter exists in all the states it has been and will be, thus making time travel 'possible' (provided you had a way to traverse this dimension).
The second theory is that Time only exists as an idea and has no 'real' existence. Units of time such as swings of a pendulum, progress of a sundial, up to seconds and minutes are generally accepted measures of time (derived from visible phenomena such as stars, orbits, and perception) that break up the passage of events. If true, matter has no memory of, or existence in, a previously observed form.
But gravity and anti-matter work in much the same way. Their effects can be observed yet the thing itself cannot be seen. Measurements are how we see the universe and make sense of it, and in it's purest sense our organs such as skin, eyes, and ears act as tools that receive sensory information (sound) and send it on for processing.
So what is time? A dimension or an illusion? Until the question of how much of perception is 'true reality' (and there might not be such a thing as Absolute reality, as that brilliant philosopher Snake once said) is answered, we may never know. Then again, Time Travel might be answered by conventional travel, if the Theory of Relativity holds up. If Space is curved, then it curves in on itself. Travel far enough and you end up going in a circle, like in a desert (though for completely different reasons). Therefore, go fast enough and voila; you end up coming back a minute younger than if you'd not gone at all. And you'll be gone a few million years or so.
Failing that, go get a DMC Delorean and some plutonium off ebay and carve up some city streets! MARTY! TO THE CLOCKTOWER! The Time barrier can be broken with just 1.21 gigawatts and 88 miles an hour in THIS film!
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