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Page 9
Nov 19, 2009 11:00:41 GMT
Post by StrathWriters on Nov 19, 2009 11:00:41 GMT
The train pulls to a halt at the Motherwell station with a gentle hiss and the doors open, allowing the cold air to rush in. You quickly alight from the train, fighting the urge to let your gaze wander back to the mysterious girl whilst putting the entire incident out of your mind.
You look around at the empty station. Anywhere else and you would be surprised at the lack of people, but hey, you're in Motherwell. You proceed out of the station and saunter down the street taking in your surroundings. You can't help but notice the distinct lack of pedestrians, motorists and even pigeons. Coupled with the biting cold you begin regret your decision to come to Motherwell. Hell, getting out of bed was not even that smart a move. You pull out your phone to text your friend but find that you can't get a signal. Things can not actually get any worse.
You continue weaving through streets, making your way to your friend's house, when you hear a stick snap. The crack echoes through the silence, demanding your attention. A pungent smell causes you to fight back your gag reflex and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You continue to listen carefully and hear footsteps draw closer. As the unknown creature behind you lets out a low, guttural growl, you pluck up the courage to turn around. A clawed hand slices through the air.
Everything goes black.
The End.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Page 9
Dec 5, 2009 3:37:58 GMT
Post by Starlong on Dec 5, 2009 3:37:58 GMT
Alright! First serial postage! It's a start! (or should I say end? :s) Serves you right for coming to Motherwell I guess
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Page 9
Dec 5, 2009 10:47:55 GMT
Post by McBain on Dec 5, 2009 10:47:55 GMT
I'm confused, I was told this would be a more fitting end to the path that led to page 10, which I agreed to. The only reason I submitted it under 9 was because that was how I remember it being numbered in the original.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Page 9
Dec 5, 2009 16:29:51 GMT
Post by Starlong on Dec 5, 2009 16:29:51 GMT
Yes, it is very much a page 10 ending. The pages were all renumbered to make them easier to keep track of. We need to ask for this page to be put in page ten really, because in this page you're supposed to flag down a police officer at the next station and clype on the girl.
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Page 9
Dec 6, 2009 14:14:20 GMT
Post by Fire Bear on Dec 6, 2009 14:14:20 GMT
I am very sorry, but I am extremely confused: why couldn't you get a signal on your phone? And the stick snapping? What stick? Why'd it snap? Sorry for being pernickety again, but I was a little confused. Also what happened to the girl? I would have thought she would get off at Motherwell seeing as that's where the actual secret agent was coming from in the first place. I am really, really, extremely, very, immensely sorry about destroying this. I- well, actually, I don't know what's wrong with me... <sighs>
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Page 9
Dec 6, 2009 15:09:00 GMT
Post by McBain on Dec 6, 2009 15:09:00 GMT
1) If you remember what the photobooth reveals in another path, Motherwell is a disaster zone of some sort. It will always be a disaster zone, regardless of whether you listened to the photobooth or not.
2) Is it entirely impossible to consider that there may be a stick lying on the ground somewhere nearby? Is it really necessary to explain that you pass a stick just to make sure it's in your mind for when one snaps?
3) See point one as to why the girl doesn't get off at Motherwell.
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Page 9
Dec 6, 2009 19:44:15 GMT
Post by Fire Bear on Dec 6, 2009 19:44:15 GMT
1) Doesn't explain lack of signal, not really. Suppose it depends on the network, really.... 2) No, but... you've never been to Motherwell, have you? There's not that many trees around. Wait, unless you go that way.... Or if you've gone far enough that way..... Oh, there's also that bit... Oops, sorry! Was only really thinking of the city centre... not many trees there... 3) Sorry. I was just thinking that, you know, you're on a train to Motherwell. That's where Motherwell trains terminate...
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Page 9
Dec 6, 2009 21:43:53 GMT
Post by McBain on Dec 6, 2009 21:43:53 GMT
It's a simple concept. You're not meant to go to Motherwell, if you do, you die!
I look forward to reading anything you contribute, it shall be mercilessly criticized for plot holes.
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Page 9
Dec 6, 2009 23:16:37 GMT
Post by Someguy on Dec 6, 2009 23:16:37 GMT
And so it begins. The glorious, drawn-out train-wreck that is Tom's Second-Person adventure story.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Page 9
Dec 7, 2009 3:00:51 GMT
Post by Starlong on Dec 7, 2009 3:00:51 GMT
I'm gonna go get my popcorn, anyone want anything?
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Page 9
Dec 7, 2009 11:32:26 GMT
Post by Fire Bear on Dec 7, 2009 11:32:26 GMT
Bernard's Watch.
That way I will actually have time to write something for this. Oh, no, wait - the computer won't work! Ah, well...
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Page 9
Apr 25, 2010 20:33:24 GMT
Post by Spidey on Apr 25, 2010 20:33:24 GMT
I like how this lasted so long, and we were so loyal to the concept, and everyone loved it so much...
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Page 9
Apr 25, 2010 22:57:03 GMT
Post by Fire Bear on Apr 25, 2010 22:57:03 GMT
Hey! I e-mailed Page 7 to Emma months ago and it didn't get put up here!
I'm tempted to put it up myself if she hasn't done it soon...
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Page 9
Apr 26, 2010 17:53:11 GMT
Post by Someguy on Apr 26, 2010 17:53:11 GMT
I think I'll write some stuff for this. Lets actually make a go of it.
Of course, I'll have to read the damn thing first. To Motherwell!
...
Fuck.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Page 9
Jul 27, 2010 16:33:48 GMT
Post by Starlong on Jul 27, 2010 16:33:48 GMT
WEBMASTER OF POWER, HERE MY PLEA... Could the text from the First post of this thread be swapped with the first Post of Page 10? as it was placed here by accident. Cheers! Then can somebody write something for this story? :S
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