Post by Fire Bear on May 25, 2009 18:18:22 GMT
Untitled – At the Moment!
I stand on the rooftop, my bright red cape fluttering behind me in the breeze. I am standing with my hands on my hips, ready for action at a moment’s notice.
My mobile phone is bright red and near my hand at all times; you never know when trouble will occur. I scratch at the fake bear’s ears on my head and fight the urge to sneeze; I do not want it all over my mask.
The night has been quiet so far. Perhaps too quiet.
The mobile rings. I answer.
“Fire Bear. Are you going to come off that roof anytime soon?” asks the well known voice at the other end. It is the voice of a great companion and trusted ally, Doctor Zaze. “There’s obviously going to be no trouble tonight, and you can’t fly off the roof, anyhow.”
“On the contrary, my dear Zaze. I should technically be able to produce a force large enough to enable me to lift off the ground. You said so yourself.”
“I know I did, but I didn’t expect you to start standing on the Union roof, now, did I? Come on down to the Gamezone. We’re playing pool.” She hangs up.
I glare at the city of bonny Glasgow, as if I can maybe stop anyone from causing trouble. I turn and walk to the door.
Beside the door, there is a massive light pointed to the sky. On the light is the best picture of a bear on fire that my friend Hazel could draw, blown up onto A5 and made into a metal fixture. With the low clouds which are usual in Glasgow, my symbol can be seen throughout the city. Recently it has been deterring various crimes. However, if the light is not visible, it means I am not there and the crime rate increases dramatically. It’s as if criminals are scared of me.
I take the stairs; a lift may get you there quicker, but it doesn’t fan my cape out behind me, which is what running down the stairs does.
I am not surprised to find the usual gang surrounding Doctor Zaze, resplendent in her white lab coat with her name stitched on the back. She wears a face mask as she always does, goggles obscuring her eyes. One of her inventions, number 69, is leaning against the wall.
Across the pool table from Zaze, chalking his pool cue is Floppy, presumably named for his hair. He wears a traditional superhero costume, with the pants over his tights, and an eye mask. They are all black, thus, making him appear to be Zorro. Slightly.
Also leaning against the wall is Floppy’s partner in crime (or should I say partner in prevention-of-crime), Spiky, also, presumably, named for his favourite hairstyle. He wears an identical costume to Floppy’s. They are obviously really sad.
Captain Formal is in deep intellectual conversation with Time Travelling Hero. Captain Formal wears a top hat, with a suit and a black bowtie. He also wears a rather posh eye mask that Shakespeare’s characters from Venice would approve of.
Time Traveling Hero is an unfortunate person, having traveled forward in time, watching how we all die and how the world ends. He won’t tell us, says it will destroy the space-time continuum. He wears a shiny, silver jumpsuit with a futuristic helmet. He always seems depressed.
As I watch, Floppy picks up the cue ball and utters his world famous line: “Cue ball of justice!” A white light appears in his hand, spreading to the cue ball, which glows as he places it on the table. He breaks.
With his superpower, Floppy is able to pot all the yellows, leaving the black and Zaze’s reds. “I thought I’d better give you a chance!” he grins.
Zaze harrumphs. She turns to her new contraption, placing it on the table. She winds it up as Floppy’s grin falters. Then, she presses a button. Out of the hole in the metal box, something which looks remarkably like a pool cue emerges. It lines up with the cue ball, pulls back before popping back out to hit it.
All the balls are now potted and Floppy is left standing, looking rather angry. Spiky laughs at his misfortune.
“So what’s that for?” I ask Doctor Zaze.
She looks at me as if I’m being slow on the uptake. Again. “This has been made for potting all the balls in a game of pool, thus winning said game of pool. I call it the Pool Game Winning Device.”
“How’s that supposed to help fight crime?”
“It’s not,” admits Zaze. “But you could do one thing with it to help you; you could-”
She is interrupted at this point by Floppy wailing. “That’s cheating! That’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair,” I mutter before trying to abate his moaning. “Look, you used your ‘Justice Ball’, so it’s only fair that Zaze gets to use her newest contraption. By the way, Zaze, out of interest, what’s number 70 going to be?”
“I don’t know,” shrugs Doctor Zaze. “Probably something to do with alchemy.”
“She’s going to try to discover the elixir of life!” Spiky butts in at this point. “Or perhaps she’ll make gold!” His eyes sparkle.
I roll my eyes and wander over to see what Captain Formal and Time Traveling Hero (we couldn’t think of any other name) are talking about.
“… you go back to the future?” I arrive in time to hear Captain Formal ask this of Time Traveling Hero.
“Hi guys. What you up to?” I ask.
“I am trying to tell Time that it should, technically and undoubtedly be possible for him to travel in time, until he finds an era he will be happy to live in without the knowledge of impending doom bothering him,” replies Formal dismissively.
“And I’m trying to tell him, I don’t want to!” mutters Time.
I smile at him. “Good on you!” I am trying to raise his spirits, but he is still glum; he is always glum.
I turn back to the others. “I am pleased to report that there have been no disturbances tonight.”
Doctor Zaze rolls her eyes behind her goggles. “We figured that one out already. I mean, the population of Glasgow who are criminals are too afraid to come out at night whenever the Fire Bear is out. Some of them still think you’re some kind of bear that’s gone mad and will devour them. It’s peaceful, and always will be. So you don’t need to stand on the roof. I mean, what could possibly happen?”
At this moment the lights go out, the music stops playing and silence engulfs the Gamezone.
“You just had to say that, didn’t you?” comes Floppy’s voice from across the pool table before I decide to dutifully light a fire ball. With the fire ball cupped in my hands, I turn to the others. “It may be a power cut. Either that or a bulb has blown or something, causing the circuit to trip. So does anyone know where the circuit box actually is?”
Everyone looks at each other. “No,” says Doctor Zaze as the others shake their heads.
I sigh. “It’s down-” begins Time, obviously about to indulge us with a nugget of information from his past in the future. However, at this moment the lights begin to flicker.
Finally, the lights are able to stay on. The jukebox begins to play a song. We are all standing listening to it, trying to figure out what it is.
Suddenly the song changes; we all recognize this one. “Flash, by Queen,” says Zaze, unnecessarily. We look at each other; why has someone put this on?
“So…” says Floppy. We all turn to look at him. “Do you want a game, Spiky?” Floppy gestures to the pool table.
I turn from the table, shaking my head as Spiky agrees and begins to set up. As it is, I am the only one to notice three people standing watching us. Three people who happen to be our arch nemeses.
One of them, on my left, is a young woman. She is wearing a black corset with black boots (what is it with these people and black!). She is carrying a rather large whip. She is Curly Emma and she is handy with said whip.
The man in the middle is unshaven and is wearing what appears to be a trench coat. Bar the blood and shrapnel, he could have come straight from World War Two. He is McBain and he is psychic, which is unfortunate for us.
The third person could be a man or a woman. No-one knows. For the purposes of not doing my head in, I think of him as a man. He is wearing a cloak, which changes colour, though not very often. When he is angry or feeling particularly evil, his cloak becomes black. Mostly it is red. Bright red. No-one can see anything of him, bar his hands, as the cloak covers everything, the hood pulled low over his face. No-one has seen his face, and many, including some of my team, believe he has no face to see. I think he is just hiding his true identity as I am doing with this full facial mask (in the shape of a bear). He has several powers (the bastard), including being able to read people’s thoughts (damn! He heard me say he’s a bastard!) and telekinesis. His name is Overlord.
I clear my throat to announce their arrival. No-one notices. “Floppy!” I shout, as he is distracting everyone by his argument that he has to use the “cue ball of justice” because it’s his trademark.
They finally turn round.
“What the-?” cries Spiky.
“What are you doing here?” asks Floppy, angrily. “I thought we’d got rid of you the last 68 times!”
“You can never get rid of us!” cries Curly Emma, gleefully.
“So what is it?” asks Zaze, her eyes narrowed.
The three nemeses look puzzled. Or at least, two of them do; Overlord could be wearing his cloak back to front for all we know.
“What on Earth are you talking about?” asks McBain, bewildered.
“She means,” I sigh, “what is your evil, dastardly plan this time?”
The three of them look at each other, gleefully, evil grins on their faces. (Bar the Overlord, of course.) They’re going to do the evil laugh, I think. Any minute now-
“Mwahahaha-” they begin.
“Look,” I say, interrupting them. “As much as I love your evil laugh and everything, could you please stop after a minute or so, rather than the usual ten; I’m starting to need the toilet, so we don’t have all day. Or night, rather.”
Looking miffed, Curly Emma and McBain turn to the Overlord. He speaks slowly and deliberately, pronouncing each word carefully, as if he is trying to hide his voice. “Haven’t you noticed that three of your number are missing?” I could imagine him grinning.
“Three of them?” asks Time. “There’s four missing, doughball!”
“I would appreciate it if you did not insult me,” says the Overlord, slowly, sounding annoyed. “And I know what I am talking about; we have Miss Jen, Mojojojoe and Kitty held captive!”
“But how?” asks Captain Formal, taking off his hat and twirling it nervously in his hands. “Kitty had reflexes like a…”
“Like a cat?” asks the Overlord, finishing Formal’s sentence. “Well, she seems to be less agile at the moment. Perhaps it’s a girl thing!” He and McBain laugh while Von Emma stands beside them, looking haughty.
“But how is kidnapping them meant to help you take over the world? As usual,” asks Floppy, looking extremely confused.
“Don’t you worry your little head,” says McBain.
“We don’t want you spoiling things for us. Again,” continues the Overlord.
“The plan is solid,” grins Curly Emma.
“That’s what she said!” says Bob, and I jump out of my skin.
I turn round quickly and my cloak flaps round a bit slower than me, tangling me in its folds. I glare at this new superhero.
I’m never sure what his superpower is. He just seems to appear whenever there’s an opportunity for a sexual innuendo. It annoys the hell out of whichever enemy we are facing at the time. It annoys the hell out of his comrades, as well.
He wears what I’m sure he thinks of as a sexy dark blue costume. His mask is one of whichever celebrity the public think of as hot on any particular day. Today it is, unfortunately, Zac Efron. It’s on days like this that I can only laugh at him.
“Oh, God!” I mutter, grinning before I turn back to the matter at hand.
Our three villains have moved closer.
“Don’t even think about it!” I growl as I light up a fire ball in my hand, ready to leap into action at a moments notice.
They don’t seem to notice. “I think it is time you should see our plan in motion,” says the Overlord, quietly and carefully. He clicks his fingers. Three people move forward from the shadows. One is wearing a cat mask and a black jumpsuit reminiscent of Catwoman. Another is wearing bright colours to stand out in a crowd, wearing a brightly coloured, rainbow mask to hide her eyes. The third is wearing normal clothes with an eye mask and a randomly picked hat; it happens to be a fez.
They are Kitty, Miss Jen and Mojojojoe. But what are they doing here? Surely they could just escape.
A horrible feeling creeps up me. The Overlord is clever, and his cleverness is heightened by the help of Von Emma and McBain. He could very well create clones…
“Oh, God, no!” I cry. The buzz of conversation behind me ceases. “You couldn’t do that!”
“Well, quite obviously we can. Many. Times. Over.” The Overlord says this last sentence slowly to get his point across, but it was quite unnecessary.
“Oh, no!” I breathe as the exact same three people appear behind the first, and behind these another three came forward, until, after all the movement dies down, we are surrounded.
“What should we do? Our own guys could be out there?” whispers Dr. Zaze.
“I doubt it! But… You got a contraption?” I ask. “I have a rough idea of a plan, but you must have one of your contraptions!” I say this while trying not to think too much.
“Which one?” she asks. “I have a couple,” she elaborates the need for the question. “I have…” she reels off several numbers. I stare at her.
“That’s not a couple,” breathes Captain Formal behind us.
“Never mind! You have the one I need! Now, tip them out and I’ll pick it up.”
“I do so hope you’re not plotting the clones’ demise!?” The Overlord calls out to us, trying to distract us. “Your teammates could be in amongst them. “You are forgetting, Fire Bear, that I can control people via their minds!”
‘Damn!’ I think. ‘He’s reading my mind! Stop doing that, you bastard!’
‘No,’ says a voice I do not recognise. ‘My voice is different inside your head because I hear my voice differently.’ However, I do vaguely recognize the voice… ‘From where?’ The voice sounds interested and worried.
At this moment, Zaze shakes my arm. “Fire Bear?” she asks, and I stop thinking of where I have heard the voice. Which is lucky, really: I don’t want him to find out my secret identity.
I flip open the contraption I had been holding and frown at what is inside it. I really, really hate this stuff…
I try to stop myself from thinking about my plan, but fail.
“No!” cries the Overlord, as McBain looks frantically across at us.
“Oh, no! They’re going to…”
McBain doesn’t get much further as I stand up, brandishing the contraption. “Who wants a cigarette? Totally free! I’ll even light them for you!” I shout over the commotion.
All the clones, who seem to be linked, rush forward, the Mojojojoes grabbing at my hand and at the contraption. I give them all the cigarettes on a first come, first served basis. Then I tell them to line up in a very straight line as their masters jump up and down, trying to get them to listen to them. Curly Emma even tries to whip cigarettes from a few clones’ hands, but they deftly dodged and struck back. Anything to protect their precious cigarettes.
I hold out a finger. Fire rushes out of it, lighting all the cigarettes in one blow. All the Mojojojoes take a drag. They breathe out the smoke. They all begin to cough.
“Quick!” I cry. “None of them are our guys! Get ‘em!”
We all rush forward. I seem to be holding a flame thrower as my hands are held out in front of me and the flames rush out in front of them. I witness, out of the corner of my eye, Dr. Zaze making good contraption number 69 and showing us all just what it could be used for. I can hear Floppy giving a cry of ”Foot of Justice!”, smashing some of the clones’ faces in.
Soon, the clones are finished off. Now all that remains is for our three nemeses to face justice (and not Floppy style).
“Right!” I turn triumphantly towards the villains. Only the Overlord is there. “What the-?”
“You may have defeated our clones easily, but you’ll never defeat us!” he cries. “Besides, we have your friends locked up!” He grins at us before he turns and disappears; another one of his superpowers, teleportation.
“Damn it!” yells Floppy. “We’re going to have to follow them!” he begins to head towards the door, just as my alarm on my red mobile goes off.
“No can do Floppy, man,” I say, sadly. “We’ve run out of time. We’re going to have to free them tomorrow night.”
“What?” says Floppy in disbelief. “You’re just going to abandon-”
“I’m not abandoning them!” I snap. I calm down, slightly. “Look, we can’t let anyone, least of all that lot know our secret identity. But you never know where they can be, and if we’re not where we normally are tomorrow, people will ask questions. This lot will put two and two together and get the right answer. Comprende?”
Floppy nods sullenly, and we leave for home.
I stand on the rooftop, my bright red cape fluttering behind me in the breeze. I am standing with my hands on my hips, ready for action at a moment’s notice.
My mobile phone is bright red and near my hand at all times; you never know when trouble will occur. I scratch at the fake bear’s ears on my head and fight the urge to sneeze; I do not want it all over my mask.
The night has been quiet so far. Perhaps too quiet.
The mobile rings. I answer.
“Fire Bear. Are you going to come off that roof anytime soon?” asks the well known voice at the other end. It is the voice of a great companion and trusted ally, Doctor Zaze. “There’s obviously going to be no trouble tonight, and you can’t fly off the roof, anyhow.”
“On the contrary, my dear Zaze. I should technically be able to produce a force large enough to enable me to lift off the ground. You said so yourself.”
“I know I did, but I didn’t expect you to start standing on the Union roof, now, did I? Come on down to the Gamezone. We’re playing pool.” She hangs up.
I glare at the city of bonny Glasgow, as if I can maybe stop anyone from causing trouble. I turn and walk to the door.
Beside the door, there is a massive light pointed to the sky. On the light is the best picture of a bear on fire that my friend Hazel could draw, blown up onto A5 and made into a metal fixture. With the low clouds which are usual in Glasgow, my symbol can be seen throughout the city. Recently it has been deterring various crimes. However, if the light is not visible, it means I am not there and the crime rate increases dramatically. It’s as if criminals are scared of me.
I take the stairs; a lift may get you there quicker, but it doesn’t fan my cape out behind me, which is what running down the stairs does.
I am not surprised to find the usual gang surrounding Doctor Zaze, resplendent in her white lab coat with her name stitched on the back. She wears a face mask as she always does, goggles obscuring her eyes. One of her inventions, number 69, is leaning against the wall.
Across the pool table from Zaze, chalking his pool cue is Floppy, presumably named for his hair. He wears a traditional superhero costume, with the pants over his tights, and an eye mask. They are all black, thus, making him appear to be Zorro. Slightly.
Also leaning against the wall is Floppy’s partner in crime (or should I say partner in prevention-of-crime), Spiky, also, presumably, named for his favourite hairstyle. He wears an identical costume to Floppy’s. They are obviously really sad.
Captain Formal is in deep intellectual conversation with Time Travelling Hero. Captain Formal wears a top hat, with a suit and a black bowtie. He also wears a rather posh eye mask that Shakespeare’s characters from Venice would approve of.
Time Traveling Hero is an unfortunate person, having traveled forward in time, watching how we all die and how the world ends. He won’t tell us, says it will destroy the space-time continuum. He wears a shiny, silver jumpsuit with a futuristic helmet. He always seems depressed.
As I watch, Floppy picks up the cue ball and utters his world famous line: “Cue ball of justice!” A white light appears in his hand, spreading to the cue ball, which glows as he places it on the table. He breaks.
With his superpower, Floppy is able to pot all the yellows, leaving the black and Zaze’s reds. “I thought I’d better give you a chance!” he grins.
Zaze harrumphs. She turns to her new contraption, placing it on the table. She winds it up as Floppy’s grin falters. Then, she presses a button. Out of the hole in the metal box, something which looks remarkably like a pool cue emerges. It lines up with the cue ball, pulls back before popping back out to hit it.
All the balls are now potted and Floppy is left standing, looking rather angry. Spiky laughs at his misfortune.
“So what’s that for?” I ask Doctor Zaze.
She looks at me as if I’m being slow on the uptake. Again. “This has been made for potting all the balls in a game of pool, thus winning said game of pool. I call it the Pool Game Winning Device.”
“How’s that supposed to help fight crime?”
“It’s not,” admits Zaze. “But you could do one thing with it to help you; you could-”
She is interrupted at this point by Floppy wailing. “That’s cheating! That’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair,” I mutter before trying to abate his moaning. “Look, you used your ‘Justice Ball’, so it’s only fair that Zaze gets to use her newest contraption. By the way, Zaze, out of interest, what’s number 70 going to be?”
“I don’t know,” shrugs Doctor Zaze. “Probably something to do with alchemy.”
“She’s going to try to discover the elixir of life!” Spiky butts in at this point. “Or perhaps she’ll make gold!” His eyes sparkle.
I roll my eyes and wander over to see what Captain Formal and Time Traveling Hero (we couldn’t think of any other name) are talking about.
“… you go back to the future?” I arrive in time to hear Captain Formal ask this of Time Traveling Hero.
“Hi guys. What you up to?” I ask.
“I am trying to tell Time that it should, technically and undoubtedly be possible for him to travel in time, until he finds an era he will be happy to live in without the knowledge of impending doom bothering him,” replies Formal dismissively.
“And I’m trying to tell him, I don’t want to!” mutters Time.
I smile at him. “Good on you!” I am trying to raise his spirits, but he is still glum; he is always glum.
I turn back to the others. “I am pleased to report that there have been no disturbances tonight.”
Doctor Zaze rolls her eyes behind her goggles. “We figured that one out already. I mean, the population of Glasgow who are criminals are too afraid to come out at night whenever the Fire Bear is out. Some of them still think you’re some kind of bear that’s gone mad and will devour them. It’s peaceful, and always will be. So you don’t need to stand on the roof. I mean, what could possibly happen?”
At this moment the lights go out, the music stops playing and silence engulfs the Gamezone.
“You just had to say that, didn’t you?” comes Floppy’s voice from across the pool table before I decide to dutifully light a fire ball. With the fire ball cupped in my hands, I turn to the others. “It may be a power cut. Either that or a bulb has blown or something, causing the circuit to trip. So does anyone know where the circuit box actually is?”
Everyone looks at each other. “No,” says Doctor Zaze as the others shake their heads.
I sigh. “It’s down-” begins Time, obviously about to indulge us with a nugget of information from his past in the future. However, at this moment the lights begin to flicker.
Finally, the lights are able to stay on. The jukebox begins to play a song. We are all standing listening to it, trying to figure out what it is.
Suddenly the song changes; we all recognize this one. “Flash, by Queen,” says Zaze, unnecessarily. We look at each other; why has someone put this on?
“So…” says Floppy. We all turn to look at him. “Do you want a game, Spiky?” Floppy gestures to the pool table.
I turn from the table, shaking my head as Spiky agrees and begins to set up. As it is, I am the only one to notice three people standing watching us. Three people who happen to be our arch nemeses.
One of them, on my left, is a young woman. She is wearing a black corset with black boots (what is it with these people and black!). She is carrying a rather large whip. She is Curly Emma and she is handy with said whip.
The man in the middle is unshaven and is wearing what appears to be a trench coat. Bar the blood and shrapnel, he could have come straight from World War Two. He is McBain and he is psychic, which is unfortunate for us.
The third person could be a man or a woman. No-one knows. For the purposes of not doing my head in, I think of him as a man. He is wearing a cloak, which changes colour, though not very often. When he is angry or feeling particularly evil, his cloak becomes black. Mostly it is red. Bright red. No-one can see anything of him, bar his hands, as the cloak covers everything, the hood pulled low over his face. No-one has seen his face, and many, including some of my team, believe he has no face to see. I think he is just hiding his true identity as I am doing with this full facial mask (in the shape of a bear). He has several powers (the bastard), including being able to read people’s thoughts (damn! He heard me say he’s a bastard!) and telekinesis. His name is Overlord.
I clear my throat to announce their arrival. No-one notices. “Floppy!” I shout, as he is distracting everyone by his argument that he has to use the “cue ball of justice” because it’s his trademark.
They finally turn round.
“What the-?” cries Spiky.
“What are you doing here?” asks Floppy, angrily. “I thought we’d got rid of you the last 68 times!”
“You can never get rid of us!” cries Curly Emma, gleefully.
“So what is it?” asks Zaze, her eyes narrowed.
The three nemeses look puzzled. Or at least, two of them do; Overlord could be wearing his cloak back to front for all we know.
“What on Earth are you talking about?” asks McBain, bewildered.
“She means,” I sigh, “what is your evil, dastardly plan this time?”
The three of them look at each other, gleefully, evil grins on their faces. (Bar the Overlord, of course.) They’re going to do the evil laugh, I think. Any minute now-
“Mwahahaha-” they begin.
“Look,” I say, interrupting them. “As much as I love your evil laugh and everything, could you please stop after a minute or so, rather than the usual ten; I’m starting to need the toilet, so we don’t have all day. Or night, rather.”
Looking miffed, Curly Emma and McBain turn to the Overlord. He speaks slowly and deliberately, pronouncing each word carefully, as if he is trying to hide his voice. “Haven’t you noticed that three of your number are missing?” I could imagine him grinning.
“Three of them?” asks Time. “There’s four missing, doughball!”
“I would appreciate it if you did not insult me,” says the Overlord, slowly, sounding annoyed. “And I know what I am talking about; we have Miss Jen, Mojojojoe and Kitty held captive!”
“But how?” asks Captain Formal, taking off his hat and twirling it nervously in his hands. “Kitty had reflexes like a…”
“Like a cat?” asks the Overlord, finishing Formal’s sentence. “Well, she seems to be less agile at the moment. Perhaps it’s a girl thing!” He and McBain laugh while Von Emma stands beside them, looking haughty.
“But how is kidnapping them meant to help you take over the world? As usual,” asks Floppy, looking extremely confused.
“Don’t you worry your little head,” says McBain.
“We don’t want you spoiling things for us. Again,” continues the Overlord.
“The plan is solid,” grins Curly Emma.
“That’s what she said!” says Bob, and I jump out of my skin.
I turn round quickly and my cloak flaps round a bit slower than me, tangling me in its folds. I glare at this new superhero.
I’m never sure what his superpower is. He just seems to appear whenever there’s an opportunity for a sexual innuendo. It annoys the hell out of whichever enemy we are facing at the time. It annoys the hell out of his comrades, as well.
He wears what I’m sure he thinks of as a sexy dark blue costume. His mask is one of whichever celebrity the public think of as hot on any particular day. Today it is, unfortunately, Zac Efron. It’s on days like this that I can only laugh at him.
“Oh, God!” I mutter, grinning before I turn back to the matter at hand.
Our three villains have moved closer.
“Don’t even think about it!” I growl as I light up a fire ball in my hand, ready to leap into action at a moments notice.
They don’t seem to notice. “I think it is time you should see our plan in motion,” says the Overlord, quietly and carefully. He clicks his fingers. Three people move forward from the shadows. One is wearing a cat mask and a black jumpsuit reminiscent of Catwoman. Another is wearing bright colours to stand out in a crowd, wearing a brightly coloured, rainbow mask to hide her eyes. The third is wearing normal clothes with an eye mask and a randomly picked hat; it happens to be a fez.
They are Kitty, Miss Jen and Mojojojoe. But what are they doing here? Surely they could just escape.
A horrible feeling creeps up me. The Overlord is clever, and his cleverness is heightened by the help of Von Emma and McBain. He could very well create clones…
“Oh, God, no!” I cry. The buzz of conversation behind me ceases. “You couldn’t do that!”
“Well, quite obviously we can. Many. Times. Over.” The Overlord says this last sentence slowly to get his point across, but it was quite unnecessary.
“Oh, no!” I breathe as the exact same three people appear behind the first, and behind these another three came forward, until, after all the movement dies down, we are surrounded.
“What should we do? Our own guys could be out there?” whispers Dr. Zaze.
“I doubt it! But… You got a contraption?” I ask. “I have a rough idea of a plan, but you must have one of your contraptions!” I say this while trying not to think too much.
“Which one?” she asks. “I have a couple,” she elaborates the need for the question. “I have…” she reels off several numbers. I stare at her.
“That’s not a couple,” breathes Captain Formal behind us.
“Never mind! You have the one I need! Now, tip them out and I’ll pick it up.”
“I do so hope you’re not plotting the clones’ demise!?” The Overlord calls out to us, trying to distract us. “Your teammates could be in amongst them. “You are forgetting, Fire Bear, that I can control people via their minds!”
‘Damn!’ I think. ‘He’s reading my mind! Stop doing that, you bastard!’
‘No,’ says a voice I do not recognise. ‘My voice is different inside your head because I hear my voice differently.’ However, I do vaguely recognize the voice… ‘From where?’ The voice sounds interested and worried.
At this moment, Zaze shakes my arm. “Fire Bear?” she asks, and I stop thinking of where I have heard the voice. Which is lucky, really: I don’t want him to find out my secret identity.
I flip open the contraption I had been holding and frown at what is inside it. I really, really hate this stuff…
I try to stop myself from thinking about my plan, but fail.
“No!” cries the Overlord, as McBain looks frantically across at us.
“Oh, no! They’re going to…”
McBain doesn’t get much further as I stand up, brandishing the contraption. “Who wants a cigarette? Totally free! I’ll even light them for you!” I shout over the commotion.
All the clones, who seem to be linked, rush forward, the Mojojojoes grabbing at my hand and at the contraption. I give them all the cigarettes on a first come, first served basis. Then I tell them to line up in a very straight line as their masters jump up and down, trying to get them to listen to them. Curly Emma even tries to whip cigarettes from a few clones’ hands, but they deftly dodged and struck back. Anything to protect their precious cigarettes.
I hold out a finger. Fire rushes out of it, lighting all the cigarettes in one blow. All the Mojojojoes take a drag. They breathe out the smoke. They all begin to cough.
“Quick!” I cry. “None of them are our guys! Get ‘em!”
We all rush forward. I seem to be holding a flame thrower as my hands are held out in front of me and the flames rush out in front of them. I witness, out of the corner of my eye, Dr. Zaze making good contraption number 69 and showing us all just what it could be used for. I can hear Floppy giving a cry of ”Foot of Justice!”, smashing some of the clones’ faces in.
Soon, the clones are finished off. Now all that remains is for our three nemeses to face justice (and not Floppy style).
“Right!” I turn triumphantly towards the villains. Only the Overlord is there. “What the-?”
“You may have defeated our clones easily, but you’ll never defeat us!” he cries. “Besides, we have your friends locked up!” He grins at us before he turns and disappears; another one of his superpowers, teleportation.
“Damn it!” yells Floppy. “We’re going to have to follow them!” he begins to head towards the door, just as my alarm on my red mobile goes off.
“No can do Floppy, man,” I say, sadly. “We’ve run out of time. We’re going to have to free them tomorrow night.”
“What?” says Floppy in disbelief. “You’re just going to abandon-”
“I’m not abandoning them!” I snap. I calm down, slightly. “Look, we can’t let anyone, least of all that lot know our secret identity. But you never know where they can be, and if we’re not where we normally are tomorrow, people will ask questions. This lot will put two and two together and get the right answer. Comprende?”
Floppy nods sullenly, and we leave for home.