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Post by Fire Bear on Oct 30, 2009 13:19:04 GMT
Ooooh!
Just saw an advert on the TV for it coming out on DVD.
Did anyone see it? Was it good?
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Post by Someguy on Oct 30, 2009 13:48:12 GMT
I didn't, but I'll have a stab at the format of said advert.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Bright flash of light. Grabs attention/kills every epileptic in the room. Voiceover trying to imitate the dead guy who used to do it begins to speak.]
If you...had a choice to make.
Would you...make it?
[Orchestral music starts. Key scene from film plays: 'Patton! I'm Pregnant! And you're the father!']
This Summer!
[Key scene here: 'But we didn't have sex! We're both men, Frank!']
Prepare to be...
[Montage of film's 'best bits' here.]
OBSESSED.
[Explosion of some type.]
OBSESSED. Out now, on DVD! Buy it and become...OBSESSED.
...
FIVE-HUNDRED POOOOOSTS!
Four something-something, Three french hens, Two turtle Doves, And a dead child hanging from a treeeee.
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Post by Fire Bear on Oct 30, 2009 17:07:37 GMT
It's not about that - it's got Ali Larter in it.
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Post by Someguy on Oct 30, 2009 23:04:18 GMT
...
...
...
...
...oh, yeah. Him.
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Post by Fire Bear on Oct 31, 2009 15:23:02 GMT
Ali Larter is a woman. See Final Destination and Final Destination 2 and Heroes.
I would have put a brief synopsis of the film in the last post but I was in a bit of a hurry. Here is what the film's about as I understand it:
This guy is married. A hot woman starts to work in his office. She tries to seduce him but he resists. She starts to stalk him. There is a fight at some point between his wife and Ali Larter (who is the new woman).
It's what is known as a psychological thriller.
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Post by Someguy on Nov 1, 2009 20:07:05 GMT
IF YOU THOUGHT.. THAT YOUR MAN... WAS UNDER-THREAT... WOULD YOU... DEFEND HIM? From the makers of Final Destination and Heroes comes the box-office smash thriller...starring some person as the male lead and Ali Larter as a woman! OBSESSED. This Fall! Prepare to be... OBSESSED. I should be writing film adverts.
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Post by MoeMeister on Nov 1, 2009 22:55:42 GMT
The world would be a much better, if scarier, place.
A man can dream... *tear*... A man can dream.
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Post by Someguy on Nov 2, 2009 11:10:04 GMT
He was just an ordinary man...looking for an ordinary hamburger-
"You! With the Spiky hair! Give me a hand!"
And he was just another ordinary man...looking for a fight.
"Holy shit! Where did all these zombies come from?!"
The first man didn't find his hamburger...
...he found the second man's fight!
[Rock n' Roll theme kicks in]
This Summer!
Brace yourselves...
For MADNESS.
"Foot of...JUSTICE!" "Suplex of Sanctimony!"
When opposites combine...
...nothing is beyond VIOLENCE.
Spiky & Floppy Origins: Coming to a Big Screen near you, but be warned-
Because that Big Screen...
[Scene of old lady being mollicated by the business-end of a shovel. Spiky and Floppy high-five.]
...Might not be Big enough!
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Post by Fire Bear on Nov 3, 2009 12:18:59 GMT
All you can do here is laugh... ;D
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Dr Zaze
Tenacious Typer
Eyes of Doom!
Posts: 365
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Post by Dr Zaze on Nov 4, 2009 21:02:15 GMT
Wow, those were AWESOME!!!
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Post by Someguy on Nov 4, 2009 23:05:48 GMT
Congrats on your recent advancement to Full Member.
To celebrate, here's another one:
***
What if the world you knew...
Faced an enemy...
That could not be stopped?
[Cityscape getting levelled. Brief glimpse of Godzilla-esque creature.]
And what if the only chance you had...
Lay in the hands...
[glow=red,2,300]Of Madness?[/glow]
"How soon can you get this device of yours ready?!" "How soon can you get outta my face?!"
From the Director of Independence day
"Doc! It's the overheading flux capacitators! They're levitating again!" "Great Gravy! Where did I go wrong this time? Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!"
And the Producer of Back to the Future
[Mlitary types look at rising behemoth coming out of ocean through binoculars] "Oh my God, Jim, there can't POSSIBLY be a way to stop that thing!" "What about the cruisers? What about the cruisers?" "They're...gone, sir." [Christopher Lloyd close up.] "Great...Scott!" [faints]
This Summer.
[Slow build of flash-point scenes from the film. Rising background hum.]
Prepare yourself for Science...
[Flash-point scene slideshow gets faster. Music more resonant and louder. Scenes get more intense of destruction and disaster-esque panic]
...as you've never seen it before!
[Reaches a crescendo. Think Transformers Trailer. Blur into the title with a resounding symphonic crash]
[glow=red,2,300][shadow=red,left,300]ZAZE[/shadow][/glow]
In Cinemas Now. Available in 3D
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Post by Fire Bear on Nov 5, 2009 11:30:58 GMT
Oh. My. God!
Hil-a-rious! ;D
We should so film these, just for the hell of it! (Especially since, at this rate, Stewart'll be snapped up by movie-makers around the world. We could then sell it when times are hard. Or blackmail him. Whichever one gives us more money for our Christmas outing.)
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Dr Zaze
Tenacious Typer
Eyes of Doom!
Posts: 365
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Post by Dr Zaze on Nov 5, 2009 12:06:33 GMT
I feel like I should reply with something to congratulate you on your God achievement!
***
[Fade in to breath-taking view of planet Earth in all its floating glory]{A deep space-like humming ensues}
(Deep movie voice)IN A TIME, FAR FROM OUR OWN...
[Camera zooms away from planet Earth, passing all other planets and stars, gradually picking up speed]
SOMEONE CAME INTO EXISTENCE...
[Beautiful stars zoom past as the velocity still increases exponentionally]{Orchestral crecento builds up}
SOMEONE BEYOND OUR IMAGINATION...
[Galaxies zoom past in a blur]{Orchestra trilling becomes very loud}
SOMEONE...[Black-out]{Music cut off} WHO WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING...
[White bold letters expand on screen with white light eminating from behind it]{Heavenly orchestrations and chorus begin}
GOD! ~screen flickers and computer reboots due to overpowering heavenly-ness~ -Save file "God" lost- ~computer is thrown out the window in a violent rage~
.END.
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Post by Someguy on Nov 5, 2009 15:19:28 GMT
God should be played by Christopher Lloyd.
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Dr Zaze
Tenacious Typer
Eyes of Doom!
Posts: 365
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Post by Dr Zaze on Nov 5, 2009 21:50:12 GMT
Kudos to Chris Lloyd!! ;D
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