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Post by Niggle on May 5, 2010 14:38:35 GMT
Dave told me to put it up here, so here's one of my flash fiction pieces for your entertainment:
Twas the night before Writers and across the sky Thunderclouds foretold that Stewart would cry. The rain flooded pavements, the lightning went flash, And Stewart was late – to the bus stop he dashed! He stood under shelter, his hair was all neat But a freak gust of wind blew the shelter off the street! The bus drove along, and went by at speed, And to his dismay, the driver flipped him a V. He stood there soaked through, what was he to do? He would never get home, and he needed the loo. A car drove and splashed him as it went by, Stewart was on the point of wishing to die. As he stood there, some female neds wandered past – They started to yell at him, speaking so fast. The general gist was clear to see, They wanted to beat him up, and take his money. “I have none to give!” cried Stewart in fear, But the neds, grasping bottles, began to draw near. Stewart turned tail, and fled for his life, His waterlogged coat was causing him strife. He ran down an alley, menacing and dark, Not much further till he reached the park –
AND ALL WENT BLACK.
When he woke up, he was covered in blood, Still soaked through, lying in the mud. The tears welled up, he muttered “Oh why?” And with those words, Stewart started to cry.
And the world imploded.
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Post by Someguy on May 5, 2010 14:58:09 GMT
...
What?
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Post by Spidey on May 5, 2010 15:37:11 GMT
Just as beautiful as it was last night.
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Post by Fire Bear on May 6, 2010 23:41:55 GMT
Ah, I remember this! ;D A-MAZ-ING!! ;D
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Post by McBain on May 7, 2010 7:53:45 GMT
I'm afraid I can't recognise it as flash fiction, what with the fiction being so great that it eclipses any shred of flash. I'm sure Stewart crying is listed as an omen of death to any who witness it, like hearing a Banshee howl. But then again, Banshees generally aren't known to murder those who hear them howl.
Still a good poem though. Very well done for 15 mins.
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Post by Someguy on May 7, 2010 22:54:52 GMT
Last time I cried, Chuck Norris gave up his acting career/Godhood.
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Post by McBain on May 7, 2010 23:43:23 GMT
Chuck Norris has never given up his Godhood, it was bestowed upon him by his worshippers and therefore not his to give up. As for his acting career, it was terrible to begin with. It was this nostalgic cheese that resulted in so many fans bestowing him with the Godliness that brings him the odd acting gig and thus the cycle is never broken.
As a result of this logical conclusion I can only assume that Stewart is a liar and that he has, in fact, never cried. Ever.
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Post by Someguy on May 8, 2010 16:02:14 GMT
Curses. I have been foiled in my attempts to appear human once again.
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Post by Fire Bear on May 9, 2010 22:54:04 GMT
You are human?
<faints from shock>
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Post by Spidey on May 9, 2010 23:12:04 GMT
No, no, hence why he can't appear human. I think it has something to do with not having a soul.
Or not finding the blue fairy yet. How's that quest with the robot gigolo going, Stewart?
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Post by Someguy on May 9, 2010 23:51:33 GMT
I may have killed him for being Jude Law.
I hate Jude Law.
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Post by Fire Bear on May 10, 2010 22:07:51 GMT
Blue fairies?
And robot gigolos?
I didn't even know what a gigolo was... I had to Google it.
But, the point being, what the hell is going on?
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Post by McBain on May 11, 2010 8:44:14 GMT
More of your innocence being destroyed by the looks of it.
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Post by MoeMeister on May 11, 2010 19:12:21 GMT
I may have to moderate Becks on the ground of being TOO innocent.
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Post by Fire Bear on May 11, 2010 21:51:39 GMT
Can't I be moderated by someone else? Say, Tom, for example.
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