mojojojoe
Tenacious Typer
The cold sweat in your breakfast
Posts: 232
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Post by mojojojoe on May 25, 2008 23:41:50 GMT
Passenger 57.
It was so bad. I can't believe it.
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Post by Someguy on May 26, 2008 14:13:12 GMT
What about...Street Fighter: The Movie?
Here are my favourite moments (well, moments that I can remember):
i) "Bison...BAD?!" -quote by Zangief, who has an epiphany at just the right moment to use his freakish man-strength to open the exit just as the evil base collapses! ii) The doctor, who has a crisis of conscience and stays behind with Blanka was also hilarious for it's abruptness, the strange jungle\gimp costume he is suddenly wearing, and the utter crapness of the acting and dialogue.
iii) Ryu's attempt to look hard throughout despite being skinnier than a terminal stick insect caught under a steam roller. Ken just stands there looking constipated.
iv) E. Honda and Boxer-guy's attempt to look important to the storyline when they actually have bugger all to do with, well, anything.
v) Bisons's built-in CPR machine, which sits inside his cheap plastic suit. I want one!
vi) Bison's goons, having surrendered, are being led away by the U.N soldiers. One of the U.N. guys then twats a goon in the back of the head for no visible reason, pitching him down onto the ground before kicking him, repeatedly.
vii) Final scene. Every character poses for the final freeze frame, street-fighter style! It's so crap!
What am I saying? This film rocks!
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Post by Starlong on May 26, 2008 21:02:04 GMT
I read on Wikipedia that the Street Fighter movie is largely regarded as one of the worst films ever made. It is Wikipedia and all, but reading that did make me laugh...
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Post by Someguy on May 26, 2008 22:03:56 GMT
Wikipedia is right, but it's really something that needs to be seen to be believed. For some, it approaches incredibleness from the other side of the good/bad scale. It breaks through the bottom dregs of awfulness and fractures reality in such a way that what was once good is now pale, and what was once impossibly crap suddenly shines like some polished Neon God of Turds.
Speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a Hulk Hogan movie?
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kitty
Captain of the Forum
Posts: 136
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Post by kitty on May 27, 2008 8:06:40 GMT
No but I watched Gia the other night because sometimes I like Angelina Jolie and crazy lesbian model sounded like a good role which it was but the film was awful. It was like it went through moments of being something interesting and then cut to talking heads that annoyed the hell out of me. It wasn't really, really shit but I'm still amazed at how they managed to make a lesbian sex scene completely and utterly uninteresting and then have it last for like the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes.
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bob
Corporal Punishment
Video games are awesome!
Posts: 71
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Post by bob on May 27, 2008 12:21:23 GMT
quick! change the channel!
and i have seen some of the hulks fine acting moments. Hogan DOES know best, now get your damn aids test
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Post by Someguy on May 27, 2008 13:41:22 GMT
Luring us into his web with promises of Aids.
I'm going to stop this now.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Post by Starlong on May 27, 2008 19:44:21 GMT
I have to mention Starship Troopers, not because it's a bad movie overall, but because it has the most amount of plotholes and stupid ommissions and impossible camera cuts and... and... and ARGGGHH!HH!!!! It's fun to watch, but if you look out for them, they drown you in a sea of high budget mediocrity. And don't get me started on the acting in some parts... - The astroid has to be one of the biggest ones. Ship encounters an astroid lumbering along in space, on a direct collision course with said ship. Even though the chances of two relatively miniscule space objects colliding is astronomically rare, that can slide because it's important to the plot. As ship dives to miss astroid, it's top tower bit gets nailed in a glorious CGI explosion (the captain still praises the pilots despite how dozens of people no doubt died), thus preventing the ship from warning Earth there's a large rock going towards it. The problem is this. The ship had a forward velocity towarsds the astroid, which was moving in the opposite direction. Relative to each other, the combined speed was nothing significant, to the point that the ship could dodge the astroid at the same rate the titanic (almost) ported around the iceberg. Considering the ship got to its position using a hyperdrive and the astroid in it's slow moving glory was launched from the other side of the galaxy, it should have taken the rock YEARS to reach earth... *phew* - The first time you see a bug thing, it takes 10 guys entire clips to take down ONE. Two missions later, the things are falling if they recieve flesh wounds. - During same mission, the good guys are being swarmed and overrun. Next minute, they need a few lines of uninterrupted dialogue, so where there were dozens, there's just one bug in the background, the rest presumably jumped back over the wall to invade the base a second time. grrrrrr - When they are overrun, the dudes piloting the rescue dropship are the same starship pilots that crashed into the astroid. Earlier in the film it was said "we need all the pilots we can get", so it must be questioned why two highly skilled starship pilots would be ordered to jump down into a highly dangerous zone... - Best one, near the end, a main charactor sustains what appears to be a crippling wound, a spike the width of golf club shaft right through the shoulder. Once the cavelry arrives, the person is able to shrug this seemingly fatal wound off, lugging a huge assault rifle to nail some bugs during the escape and sprinting to get away. In the next scene, she's celebrating the holywood happy ending with the rest of them as if her wound isn't there, despite that her top is soaked with blood There are more, but this post is already too long. It's fun to rant about though...
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Post by Someguy on May 28, 2008 12:43:37 GMT
I know what you mean! That film was on recently and it was the first time I'd seen it. I have one thing to say to the commanders of the film's armies: Tanks.
Where the smeg are the tanks?
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Post by Someguy on May 28, 2008 12:51:32 GMT
Oh yeah, and I just worked out who you are 'Starlong'...or should I say TOM?!!
Now I know who everyone is.
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Starlong
The Master
I have a theory. Let's conspire about it...
Posts: 938
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Post by Starlong on May 28, 2008 16:49:08 GMT
Yeah, they had a small moment of clever glory with the bombers blasting the hell out of the canyon, totally owning the bugs there. Where was that air support when the marines were facing off against thousands in that pathetic fort place? Tanks would have been an entirely different film, but the dudes wouldn't have had their limbs torn off their filmsy, blood filled bodies half as much... and wheres the fun in that?? you mean you didn't know? what gave me away in the end? was it the love of cheese?
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Post by Someguy on May 28, 2008 17:59:38 GMT
I have my sources...
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bob
Corporal Punishment
Video games are awesome!
Posts: 71
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Post by bob on Jun 2, 2008 11:01:59 GMT
the book is anti communits yet pro toailitarian propaganda.
plus they all go around in ghost in the shell style power suits!
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Post by Miss O'Jenny on Jun 2, 2008 18:48:49 GMT
Random fact: The soldiers uniforms in Firefly when are in fact Starship Trooper hand me downs.
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